http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/
My friend Victor showed me this website; This is why Im broke .com This is the coolest site ever! Where else can you find the Water Jet Pack for $130,000.00 and Titanic Ice Cube molds for $6.55? Just when I though I have seen it all, along come this website. Y'all should check this out.
Everything under the sun is sold on this site. You can custom make a bobblehead doll. Stock up on glow in the dark toilet paper. There is a Bob Ross finger puppet for $17.00 and a flying car for $350,000.00. Just think of all the airline miles you would earn by putting that puppy on your Visa! Any novelty zombie or Star Wars item is there for the buying.
There are Ninjabread Men cookie cutters in the shape of a Chuck Norris round house kick. As well as a $400.00 inflatable human hamster ball. Perfect for use on the water for a fun day at the lake. My favorite item is the combat lawn gnomes armed with AK-47s, rocket launchers, and grenades for $42.00. Which, by the way, I am so totally buying those!
Not everything on the site is a toy. There are a few items that are functional. The body pillow/sleeping bag that looks like shark, a throw pillow the doubles as a remote control. A $200.00 lift out coffee table. The top lifts up to serve as a TV tray. There are bandaids that look like bacon strips. There are shot glasses and mugs in everyshape and size.
I love websites like these. I remember getting catalogs in the mail filled with "can't live without" items. Companies like Lillian Vernon, Fingerhut, Signals and Wireless, just to name a few. They are full of those wonderful things that make you say "How did I ever live before I had this?".
Novelty items have come a long way from the salad days of joke shops, ads on the back page of comic books, and catalog sales. Websites and online shopping make consumer gratification instantanious. Even further back there were salesmen calling out to the crowds in Antantic City on the boardwalk selling kitchen gadgets. We now have stores like Bed Bath and Beyond that are just a quick drive across town to fill our cupboards. We have late night info-mercials to tell us it's just 3 easy payments of $29.99 for "the greatest thing you and your family will ever use." What is sad is these are the items that get used for 6 months or so. Then you forget to order your refill and soon they are pushed to the back shelf.
What is most amazing is this industry is multi million dollar. Pitch men like Ron Popeil with the Popeil Pocket Fisherman and the Ronco Food Dehydrator, Billy Mayes with Oxi-Clean and Mighty Putty, and even Vince with the Sham-Wow towels, all use the slick, well rehearsed, sales pitch to make you think you need the trinket that will be the next greatest thing. Next time you are at a home show watch the guy selling the Ginsu knives. It's Willie Lowman for the 21st century.
I will confess I have fallen into the trap. One time, in the wee hours of the morning, I bought some wonderful cleaning powder. It was supposed to whiten my whites and clean my bathroom so well it will look brand new. I keep the bucket of that crap around just to remind myself not to do that again! How many of you have The Vegematic tucked away in the back of your pantry? How many of you found The Popeil Pocket Fisherman while digging through your grandfather's box of junk in the garage? Impulse shopping is a trap we all have faced and lost!
For as much as I love looking at all those websites and catalogs, I have learned a couple of valuable lessons. First, I don't make wise purchasing decisions at two in the morning coming down off a drunken bender. Secondly, if it sounds too good to be true it usually is. Happy Shopping, y'all!
Jester Reggie
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